How and why proverbs must change over time.
Growing up, we would have all been taught that "grass is greener on the other side" and over time, upon internalising it - like I did, many could have always wished to be on the other side.
This taught us how to be contended in life, and how comparison never helps but also hampers the peace that's prevalent.
Of course, we could not stick on to the same proverb for very long, and we needed a shift. On a rainy Friday evening, during my 8th grade class, me along with my classmates were gazing out from our class window at the ground, where we were supposed to be playing instead of listening to our substitution teacher, talk to us about history of Indian freedom struggle. Come on, we all wanted to play.
Interestingly, that teacher wrote a proverb on the board, "Make hay, even while it rains" and that struck me really hard. The initial question I had was, "are we allowed to change proverbs?"
The incident left a lingering thought in my head, on how a tweaked proverb, wrote on the board by a teacher can be more relevant for that time, than the proverb taught to me by my dad.
Of course - thinking deep, while inside classroom only ended me up in the principal's room, as I really wanted to make hay while it was raining and I kept taking that proverb as an excuse and ran to the ground that I wanted to play and fell on wet mud.
Little did the little me realise, the tweaked proverb could be held accountable only for studies.
However, later realised that my teacher wanted us all to continue our efforts towards our goals irrespective of external turbulence.
Fast forward 10 years, when I entered my office for the first time to collect the Offer letter before the joining date- I was asked to leave immediately because I was wearing slippers instead of shoes inside a 'corporate office'. I was furious and fuming. There were good looking girls, and in front of them the HR asked me to leave.
I came out, didn't know what to do and called up Siva Anna, who is still a very good friend and mentor. He understood I was furious and needed to calm down when I said I didn't need the job anymore.
His simple words still resonate within me, "Dei, Shriram - the role of a HR is not just talent acquisition but also talent nurturing and building, this is a process to fine tune you, do not let emotions hamper your opportunity. Always remember grass is greener on the side where you water it".
Ah! For the second time, someone tweaked a proverb which made more sense than the original.
Now fast forward another 4 years, there is a lurking fear. Comparisons has always been there, the whole Ranking system is a comparison, you get compared against the topper, or you get compared against the girl who stays one floor below your house. "Look at how Sharma ji ka beta has cracked IIT, and what will I tell Krishnamoorthi uncle". It never ends.
Whenever I was subjected to it, I only repeated the original greenery proverb, externally and over time started saying the tweaked one, internally.
The lurking fear I spoke about was this comparisons taking a U turn. With social media, individuals have started comparing their own lives.
I read so many articles on teen thefts because they wanted money to buy an iPhone, suicides, and of course unhappy marriages. Why? They see happiness on the outside World, and unhappy because 'that' moment/incident has not happened yet to me, failing to realise even the ones posting will be having such 'that' moments.
We must agree on the fact - majority of time, the content on social media is viewed on a 5 inch device - which means the focus is just on the hands, and being attention deficit to the outside world is not a surprising syndrome.
So, how can we tweak the proverb this time and get good by remembering it?
I wanted to pick a few behavioural traits that I have observed with myself and with those around, which I can attribute to the comparison, driven by social media obsession.
Be careful not to drive these behaviours into depression.
-If you fall slightly short of your targets and you decide that you're a total failure: means you have been internalising that it is either all in or nothing.
-It worked out badly once, and hence it will work out badly every time: means you have been generalizing life without thinking what's next at all.
- Allowing a single and small negative drop to fade out the entire good details around and in front of you: means you need to quickly remove that mental filter.
-There will be positives, but you might end up saying, this is happening now because a big failure is waiting behind, instead of being at the moment: means you do not count the positive and you disqualify it.
-Assuming other people will think negative of you, that too without evidence : means you are wrongly and biasedly reading minds. Stop it.
-Making a negative prediction and taking it as an established fact :Means you are a highly negative emotional driven person.
-There would be a minor mistake in life from internal or external, but (200%) it would have been because of a wrong decision you took, but you'll be exaggerating it too much : Means your mind is simply catastrophic (get out of it). Just look at the greenery and smile :)
-Hey, let me tell you: if others feel positive about the potential you have, it simply means they have seen it and you're yet to. If you have been disregarding your potential and self belief and accomplishments even within yourself : means you are a person who is minimising the self and not humble as you may think.
-There will the opportunities in front of you, but you'd plainly disregard it, because in your mind it 'should be' something else : Do not try to be an overtly opinionated person, take life easily and be cognitive of what's around.
-Oh, importantly, "I failed once, I'm a fucking failure" : means you've been mislabeling yourself.
Please remember, the journey to win a world cup, will start with playing the first game - not the finals directly.
I don't know if "all is well" works for you - but I simply say "this too shall pass".
Endure :) nothing is lost until you give up.
This taught us how to be contended in life, and how comparison never helps but also hampers the peace that's prevalent.
Of course, we could not stick on to the same proverb for very long, and we needed a shift. On a rainy Friday evening, during my 8th grade class, me along with my classmates were gazing out from our class window at the ground, where we were supposed to be playing instead of listening to our substitution teacher, talk to us about history of Indian freedom struggle. Come on, we all wanted to play.
Interestingly, that teacher wrote a proverb on the board, "Make hay, even while it rains" and that struck me really hard. The initial question I had was, "are we allowed to change proverbs?"
The incident left a lingering thought in my head, on how a tweaked proverb, wrote on the board by a teacher can be more relevant for that time, than the proverb taught to me by my dad.
Of course - thinking deep, while inside classroom only ended me up in the principal's room, as I really wanted to make hay while it was raining and I kept taking that proverb as an excuse and ran to the ground that I wanted to play and fell on wet mud.
Little did the little me realise, the tweaked proverb could be held accountable only for studies.
However, later realised that my teacher wanted us all to continue our efforts towards our goals irrespective of external turbulence.
Fast forward 10 years, when I entered my office for the first time to collect the Offer letter before the joining date- I was asked to leave immediately because I was wearing slippers instead of shoes inside a 'corporate office'. I was furious and fuming. There were good looking girls, and in front of them the HR asked me to leave.
I came out, didn't know what to do and called up Siva Anna, who is still a very good friend and mentor. He understood I was furious and needed to calm down when I said I didn't need the job anymore.
His simple words still resonate within me, "Dei, Shriram - the role of a HR is not just talent acquisition but also talent nurturing and building, this is a process to fine tune you, do not let emotions hamper your opportunity. Always remember grass is greener on the side where you water it".
Ah! For the second time, someone tweaked a proverb which made more sense than the original.
Now fast forward another 4 years, there is a lurking fear. Comparisons has always been there, the whole Ranking system is a comparison, you get compared against the topper, or you get compared against the girl who stays one floor below your house. "Look at how Sharma ji ka beta has cracked IIT, and what will I tell Krishnamoorthi uncle". It never ends.
Whenever I was subjected to it, I only repeated the original greenery proverb, externally and over time started saying the tweaked one, internally.
The lurking fear I spoke about was this comparisons taking a U turn. With social media, individuals have started comparing their own lives.
I read so many articles on teen thefts because they wanted money to buy an iPhone, suicides, and of course unhappy marriages. Why? They see happiness on the outside World, and unhappy because 'that' moment/incident has not happened yet to me, failing to realise even the ones posting will be having such 'that' moments.
We must agree on the fact - majority of time, the content on social media is viewed on a 5 inch device - which means the focus is just on the hands, and being attention deficit to the outside world is not a surprising syndrome.
So, how can we tweak the proverb this time and get good by remembering it?
"The grass is always greener on the social media".
I wanted to pick a few behavioural traits that I have observed with myself and with those around, which I can attribute to the comparison, driven by social media obsession.
Be careful not to drive these behaviours into depression.
-If you fall slightly short of your targets and you decide that you're a total failure: means you have been internalising that it is either all in or nothing.
-It worked out badly once, and hence it will work out badly every time: means you have been generalizing life without thinking what's next at all.
- Allowing a single and small negative drop to fade out the entire good details around and in front of you: means you need to quickly remove that mental filter.
-There will be positives, but you might end up saying, this is happening now because a big failure is waiting behind, instead of being at the moment: means you do not count the positive and you disqualify it.
-Assuming other people will think negative of you, that too without evidence : means you are wrongly and biasedly reading minds. Stop it.
-Making a negative prediction and taking it as an established fact :Means you are a highly negative emotional driven person.
-There would be a minor mistake in life from internal or external, but (200%) it would have been because of a wrong decision you took, but you'll be exaggerating it too much : Means your mind is simply catastrophic (get out of it). Just look at the greenery and smile :)
-Hey, let me tell you: if others feel positive about the potential you have, it simply means they have seen it and you're yet to. If you have been disregarding your potential and self belief and accomplishments even within yourself : means you are a person who is minimising the self and not humble as you may think.
-There will the opportunities in front of you, but you'd plainly disregard it, because in your mind it 'should be' something else : Do not try to be an overtly opinionated person, take life easily and be cognitive of what's around.
-Oh, importantly, "I failed once, I'm a fucking failure" : means you've been mislabeling yourself.
Please remember, the journey to win a world cup, will start with playing the first game - not the finals directly.
I don't know if "all is well" works for you - but I simply say "this too shall pass".
Endure :) nothing is lost until you give up.
Comments
Post a Comment