The Real Dirty Picture: Let's talk about Sex.

The mere title of this piece alone was probably enough to make you close the window, or at least minimize it, to look around to ensure that no one was watching you read it. Yes, we Indians don't like to talk about sex. It is taboo, against our culture, bad for the society, corrupts young minds, and distracts people from the right path. Haha!

In fact, surprisingly, it is perverted, dirty, and something to be ashamed of.

With so many pejoratives, it is no surprise that most Indians keep their views about sex private. Else, they will be branded as characterless persons. Women have to be extra careful.

The case begins to get dirtier here - a 'good' Indian women is supposed to be almost asexual, to be considered pure and chaste. But, at the same time it wants us to be sexual only on the institution of marriage, why? For the purposes of procreation, any deviation from it and olla... You are a person of loose morals, harmful to yourself and to the society.

India today, yesterday and tomorrow is conservative. No one, will even discuss it, let alone express his/her views. The best part when the dirtier begins to grow into being dirtiest is, how we ignore the fact that we've a growing population of over 1.2 billion, and act as if sexdoesn't exist. We are so passionate towards our country that we say, we are Indians first, than being humans first. The age old adage of "you can piss in public, but not kiss in public in India", is strong enough to put front our situation and what is more painful is that nothing has changed since that adage came up.

This topic of sex, has been made a huge, powerful, internal force and a strong driver of the internal desires. One point which I don't understand is, why sex education is banned in a country where even toddlers gets raped. 

Repressed sexual desire, for instance, is manifest in child sexual abuse, which is rampant in India. Apart from this, the many instances of molestation, the feeling of a lack of safety amongst our women, even though at this point I'm writing about a dream India where people are rational and accept a natural emotion and not see it as a crime, I am still scared when I read texts from my friends who are girls, especially when they tell me they are traveling alone. Wow. Isn't such a secure feeling? Who is responsible for it? I leave that decision to you.

Every day, as we open the newspapers or these days we have the updates on phone, we read about a violation against women. The worst part was a toddler was gang raped, which proves the point that the attire that women wear isn't the provocation. It's the mind which is getting dirtier, dirtiest and why? Repression and lack of education and of course, whatever it is 'I'll get away with it' attitude. Another recent news that a village girl, was gang raped and a video of It was shot and they threatened the girl that if she ever opened her mouth, they would spread the video and bring shame to her, haha! you think it is surprising? When she garnered the courage to open up the issue, headline news the next day was, that teenage becomes a 'nightmare to her rapists ', wow so aren't they to her? When and where is this going to end? Who is at fault?

Now, talking about repression, a widespread trait, is the double lives many Indians lead, especially amongst youth. Lies and avoidable hypocrisy. I'm not blaming the entire country, don't get me wrong. I'm only writing about my deciphering of the human psych. India is modern and free compared to other nations. We have free speech, media, and secularism. We have no laws to decide what we've to and what not to follow in terms of religion or dress code in a particular manner. What does this imply? An Indian youth without gender discrimination are being exposed to the counterparts from the other nations and is natural to be curious about something which is being hidden from them.

This does not mean we should open the floodgates and make it an 'anything - goes' society. 

However, we need to refresh our societal values around sex. The traditional versus modern balance needs a little transformation. Else the hypocrisy will never go away. So where is that we've to go? I'm not proposing or imposing an answer. A more open mind, and attitude which doesn't view sex with a myopia but looks beyond it?

Maybe sex education?

Maybe stricter and instance justice to those violations against women. There can be ten thousand other ‘maybes’, everything can happen, if we as Indians, take a deep breathe and accept we can, and we need to talk about sex.